You just did that thing you were scared of.
Made the big speech…
Pushed the “publish” button…
Had that difficult conversation…
Now you’re relieved. And free.
And nervous it will backfire on you. That you’ll get a negative reaction. That others won’t like it.
Even worse, what if people ignore it?
But then the kudos start coming in. It’s a trickle at first, materializing so slowly you think it’s surely a fluke.
The rippling applause…
One Like, two Likes, three Likes, four…
An small nod turning to an embrace…
It’s okay to admit, this feels pretty damn good. It becomes addicting, not because the adoration is something you seek, but because you believe in your own abilities that much more profoundly.
For a brief moment all the internal doubts, and fears, and worries are shattered. All that’s left is the truth—you have a gift, and good things can happen when you use it.
And why?
Why do others have to openly applaud our abilities for us to believe in them ourselves? Are we that timid and lacking in confidence? Are we so fragile to think we have nothing of quality to offer unless others say so?
Not necessarily. That’s just the power of positive reinforcement.
We become trained to do the things we are rewarded for. And being openly recognized for the good things we do creates a euphoric effect. We can’t help but want more of this all-natural high, so we continue producing the behavior that caused the reaction.
Once we are rewarded for taking the action we were previously averse to, the aversion fades. We realize there’s nothing to fear. There are only great things on the other side of authentic action.
Of course it won’t always be this way. Sometimes we’ll do things and get zero response. We’ll hear crickets.
But you know what?
That’s okay.
It’s the practice that matters, not the result. Zero reinforcement is not the same as negative reinforcement. It just means your action didn’t strike a chord that particular time.
But when it hits again, you’ll feel it. You’ll become super energized, like nothing can stop you.
And then you’ll wake up the next day to another blank page.
Time to do it again.